Received splashy goodness

recieved splashy goodness
Originally uploaded by Dunny

I think it was Oprah (!) that said that people reveal themselves pretty early on in a relationship – be that friendship or romantic. Even as babies, our personalities remain remarkably similar to the 1 month old version; ask any mother. Are we prone to fussiness? Anger? Good natured?

My recent falling out with a friend of mine took place in a spectacular fashion and just now I remember an incident that occured when we really started our friendship.

In my life, I've never seen anyone throw a drink in someone's face. I thought it was something that only happened on television or movies – a sprinkling of drama, so to speak. But that's what my friend did in the early days of us spending time together. On a warm summer Tuesday night, said friend did that to a stranger who resented my friend's intrusion into his conversation. I thought to myself – wow, did that really happen? I was so dismayed and embarrassed, I didn't know where to look. I thought – I wonder if that will happen to me one day.

And so it did. Funny thing is now it kinda feels like this picture.

I'm not someone that needs to be the center of attention, although I can work the spotlight quite well when it's on me. I tend to be pretty easy going 99% of the time and indulge those who do need the spotlight. But over time, it's hard not to get angry when the spotlight pees on your feet repeatedly. You know, setting up a plan then changing everything to indulge that person's quirky schedule that just can't be changed. Or conversations that always seem to end up being about the spotlight, no matter what the topic.

There could be a bit of sour grapes. We are all susceptible to the green eyed monster, especially when things have been difficult. I think all friendships change when one person does well while the other is rebuilding. But I always thought that stuff like that shouldn't get in the way of a friendship – especially when things were down before they were up and that friend was there for you both in the bad and the good times. Looks, money and power are all fleeting. Just ask Madoff's victims. If you let it go to your head, you will eventually lose. I've seen it first hand many times.

Alas, there comes a time when breaking free from someone else's orbit is a good thing – no matter how painful it is and how close you used to be. I'm sorry to see such a close friend go. But our relationship needed to change in order for it to be sustainable. I'm sorry it had to happen in such a dramatic fashion. But maybe dramatic was the only way it was going to end.

Que sera sera.